September 28, 2026
Financial exploitation doesn’t always look like theft. Sometimes it begins by looking like help.
Aging Wisely Basics
Financial exploitation doesn’t always look like theft. Sometimes it begins by looking like help.
When we hear “financial exploitation,” we tend to think someone set out to steal from an older adult. But with families, it can be much more complicated.
It may start with a daughter helping Mom manage her bills. Then she gets reimbursed for groceries and expenses. Soon, she is reimbursing herself for time away from work because caring for Mom is taking more time. Eventually, Mom is making larger “gifts” or “loans” that can reach tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars.
At what point did helping become something else?
As someone gets older, it is perfectly normal for family members to become more involved. A daughter might start helping Mom pay her bills. A nephew might drive an uncle to the bank. Someone may get access to a checking account to pay for groceries or caregivers.
Eventually, a family member may become power of attorney. They might also take responsibility for communicating with attorneys, financial advisors, doctors, and other professionals.
None of this necessarily means something is wrong. In fact, this kind of support is often exactly what an aging person needs.
The concern begins when assistance slowly turns into control without transparency or oversight.
That line can become even harder to see when cognitive decline is involved. An older adult may still carry on a normal conversation and express strong opinions. At the same time, they may struggle to understand complicated financial decisions or remember recent transactions.
This is why families need to look for patterns rather than wait for one obvious event.
The goal isn’t to assume bad intentions. It is to create transparency and protect everyone involved, especially Mom. This is exactly why families need a plan before money starts changing hands.
- What assets will Mom use to pay for care?
- What is her care budget?
- If a family member will be compensated, how much and for what?
- Who provides oversight?
Technology Spotlight
A 10-Minute Phone Check That Could Prevent a Scam
For older adults, unwanted calls and texts are more than annoying. They create confusion, make it harder to recognize legitimate calls, and can open the door to scams and financial exploitation.
The good news is that most smartphones and phone carriers already have technology designed to help. In many cases, it simply needs to be turned on.
If you help an aging parent, spend 10 minutes with their phone. Turn on spam protection, review recent calls and texts, block repeat offenders, and save important numbers like doctors, pharmacies, family members, and financial advisors in their contacts.
One important rule: If you don’t recognize the caller or aren’t sure about a text, don’t provide information, click a link, or send money. Just hang up or delete the text!
Resources
- iPhone Users: Instructions for using Apple’s built-in tools to reduce calls from unknown numbers.
- Android Users: Instructions for using caller ID, spam protection, and call-screening features available on Android phones.
- AT&T Customers: How to use AT&T ActiveArmor and other available call-protection tools.
- T-Mobile Customers: How to activate Scam Shield and other call-screening features.
- Verizon Customers: How to use Verizon Call Filter and its spam-text protections.
- National Do Not Call Registry: Register a phone number to reduce legitimate telemarketing calls. It won’t stop scammers, but it is another useful layer of protection.
- Report Unwanted Calls or Texts: File a complaint with the FCC about robocalls, unwanted texts, spoofing, and other phone issues.
One more useful trick: Suspicious spam texts can be forwarded to 7726 (SPAM). This helps your wireless carrier identify and address spam messages. Don’t click the links or respond to the sender.
All About Aging
You Don’t Live Longer by Trying Not to Die. You Live Longer by Living.
I write a lot about risk. Preventing falls. Avoiding hospitalizations. Recognizing cognitive changes. Talking to a loved one about giving up the car keys when driving is no longer safe.
Those things matter. But everything about aging is nuanced, and there has to be balance.
The goal isn’t to eliminate every possible risk. If we do that, we can also start eliminating the things that make life worth living.
Going to dinner with friends. Traveling. Walking the dog. Playing golf. Spending time with family. Having somewhere to go and a reason to get up in the morning.
The question isn’t, “How do we stop Mom from doing this?”
It’s, “How can we help Mom keep doing this safely?”
Maybe that means a walker, physical therapy, transportation, a caregiver, medication management, or simply a better plan.
There will be times when something truly is no longer safe and a difficult change has to be made. But safety shouldn’t automatically mean restriction.
Aging wisely is about managing risk while protecting independence, purpose, and quality of life.
Because you don’t live longer by spending your life trying not to die.
You live longer by living.